Lee Jing-ok, who had given up his ministerial position to lead the punitive expedition to New Frontier, threw himself enthusiastically into his duties.
The first document Lee Jing-ok received was a request for additional funds to provide military uniforms.
“I thought we had sufficient stock of battle garments?”
The official in charge responded with an awkward expression.
“A considerable number of men cannot fit into the existing uniforms, sir.”
At the official’s answer, Lee Jing-ok’s face brightened.
“Oh! Is that so? So there are many men with such impressive builds? Hmm…”
Lee Jing-ok stroked his beard and did some mental calculations.
‘Since many come from noble families, most should be reasonably intelligent… And if they have impressive physiques, they should have considerable strength as well… If trained properly, they could become worthy talents for the military!’
The hunger for talent that had begun with King Sejong had not spared Lee Jing-ok either.
‘As they say, the more the better!’
Having made his decision, Lee Jing-ok rose from his seat.
“I must see for myself how impressive these men are! Where are they gathered now?”
“They are currently assembled at Namhansanseong Fortress, sir.”
“Let’s go there immediately!”
Before the words were fully out of his mouth, Lee Jing-ok had left his office and mounted his horse. Watching him, the official broke into a cold sweat and muttered quietly.
“That’s not what I meant…”
Upon arriving at Namhansanseong after a swift ride, Lee Jing-ok faced the soldiers in question.
Seeing the men still in civilian clothes because they had no uniforms, Lee Jing-ok sighed deeply.
“Well, well… These fellows know nothing of reaching for the sky, but they certainly know far too much about expanding across the earth, far too much indeed…”
***
Since ancient times, being fat was a symbol of wealth.
People of the native land (the Korean peninsula) were also famous for their hearty appetites. This was acknowledged even by the neighboring Chinese and Japanese.
However, surprisingly few people were actually overweight.
The main reason was that most couldn’t afford to eat their fill at every meal, and the second reason was that they endured intense physical labor daily.
As a result, native Koreans developed the habit of gorging themselves at feasts and other opportunities.
With this background, being fat symbolized prosperity.
It was evidence that one could eat abundantly without having to perform hard labor.
As time passed and the Empire’s economy developed, it was only natural that obesity became increasingly common among men from noble families who were transforming into a capitalist class.
However, this trend gradually created problems.
The number of people suffering from obesity-related illnesses began to increase.
Interestingly, the true upper class residing in Seoul actually made efforts to avoid obesity.
This was a butterfly effect brought about by Hyang.
In the history before Hyang’s intervention, King Sejong had suffered from various diseases due to obesity, including diabetes and vision loss.
To prevent this, Hyang had implemented what she called the “Healthy Pig Project.”
“Your Majesty, they say that men who perform this exercise have unfailing vigor in marital relations.”
Using the perennial topic of “virility” as a reason, Hyang prevented King Sejong from becoming excessively obese.
Additionally, the royal couple’s relationship improved, and Hyang won the favor of Queen Soheon.
The upper class in Seoul, who witnessed this up close, eagerly worked to lose weight.
The problem arose when they visited their ancestral homes in the provinces.
“My goodness! Why have you become so thin? Is life in Seoul that difficult? You look like you might blow away in the wind. Tsk, tsk, tsk…”
“Brothers! Why are you so ignorant of how the world works now!”
Those who came down from Seoul emphasized the need to lose weight, but those who remained in the provinces shook their heads.
“No matter what, a man needs to have some stature…”
“That’s right! Stop with that nonsense and tell us about other things. Like that rope-jumping exercise you mentioned last time!”
Still trapped in outdated perceptions, these men showed interest only in exercises beneficial for virility, such as jump rope, or in medicines and implements that promised similar benefits.
***
Thanks to this background, most of the men standing before Lee Jing-ok were local nobles from the provinces.
After staring at them for quite some time, Lee Jing-ok turned to glare at the official in charge.
“So, you’re saying it’s not that there are many men with impressive builds, but simply that there are many fat men, which is why the uniform costs are higher?”
“…That is correct, sir.”
The official answered in a barely audible voice to Lee Jing-ok’s question.
“Well, I never!”
Flabbergasted by this completely unexpected situation, Lee Jing-ok came to a conclusion.
“These men should not have new uniforms made to fit them; instead, they should make their bodies fit the uniforms!”
Though he had reached a conclusion, Lee Jing-ok still had many concerns.
Back in his office, Lee Jing-ok placed his hand on his forehead and sighed deeply.
“Sigh… Taking such blobs of fat along would only make them target practice for the enemy… But if I just have them push brushes from behind, it creates issues of fairness… Sigh…”
After sighing repeatedly, Lee Jing-ok clicked his tongue.
“Tsk! If His Majesty were here, he would have given a clear answer immediately!”
Despite pondering this unexpected challenge for several days, Lee Jing-ok couldn’t find a satisfactory solution. Finally, he approached King Wan.
“…This is indeed a difficult problem.”
With a troubled expression, Wan racked his brain but couldn’t find a suitable answer.
Seeing Wan and Lee Jing-ok deep in thought, Hwangbo In interjected.
“Your Majesty, for such a difficult problem, I believe you should ask Lord Jeoljae.”
“Lord Jeoljae?”
As Wan’s eyes lit up, Hwangbo In continued.
“Jeoljae has been recognized for his outstanding improvisational abilities and was frequently utilized by both the Emperor Emeritus and Your Majesty’s father. If it’s Jeoljae, he will find an answer.”
Listening to Hwangbo In’s explanation, all the ministers silently thought the same thing.
‘Not improvisation, but trickery!’
In the end, another task was added to Kim Jong-seo’s plate.
***
“Damn it! I should be reducing my workload, not adding to it!”
Cursing quietly and grumbling, Kim Jong-seo instructed the official waiting outside his office.
“Go bring Jajun to me!”
“Yes, sir!”
While waiting for Han Myeong-hoe to arrive, Kim Jong-seo smiled slightly.
“That fellow should be able to do it. Is this why Master Bangtchon (Hwang Hui’s pen name) put me through so much trouble…?”
“You called for me, sir!”
“Come in!”
Recalling the old days when he had suffered alongside—or rather, at the hands of—Hwang Hui, Kim Jong-seo smiled faintly, then straightened his posture to receive Han Myeong-hoe.
“…And so, His Majesty has ordered me to find a solution. What do you think would be the best approach?”
At Kim Jong-seo’s question, Han Myeong-hoe frowned and fell into deep thought.
After pondering for quite some time, Han Myeong-hoe shared his thoughts with Kim Jong-seo.
“Wouldn’t it be sufficient to make them realize that with such bodies, they would die as soon as they stepped onto the battlefield?”
“Explain in more detail.”
Han Myeong-hoe elaborated on his idea. Nodding as he listened, Kim Jong-seo’s face showed slight concern as he pointed out a problem.
“It seems like it might require a significant budget?”
“Consider the additional costs for uniforms and food.”
“Hmm…”
After hearing Han Myeong-hoe’s answer, Kim Jong-seo did some mental calculations and soon nodded.
“That works! I’ll report this to His Majesty!”
The next day, after hearing Kim Jong-seo’s explanation, Wan nodded.
“That’s a good idea! It was indeed a good decision to entrust this matter to you, Lord Kim!”
“I am honored!”
“And regarding that Vice Minister, Han Myeong-hoe. I see why my father kept him close. Hmm…”
Seeing Wan deep in thought, Kim Jong-seo inwardly muttered.
‘I’ve done Jajun a disservice. He’s going to have even more work now.’
***
Ten days later, Lee Jing-ok gathered the problematic soldiers.
“Hmm, it seems the number has increased since last time?”
To Lee Jing-ok’s question, the official in charge answered with a troubled expression.
“The final group of volunteers joined a few days ago, sir.”
“Those responsible for feeding them must have had a difficult time.”
“…”
Leaving the now-silent official behind, Lee Jing-ok ascended the platform and shouted to the soldiers.
“His Majesty has issued an imperial decree! The content of the decree is that you must lose weight!”
As soon as Lee Jing-ok finished speaking, murmurs erupted everywhere.
“Quiet! Be quiet!”
After silencing the soldiers, Lee Jing-ok continued.
“This is not merely to torment you! It’s for your survival!”
Lee Jing-ok led the soldiers to the training ground.
At the training ground, about twenty soldiers of average build, selected by Lee Jing-ok, were already waiting.
Lee Jing-ok took both groups of soldiers to a temporary facility that had been set up on the training ground.
Standing in front of the facility, Lee Jing-ok continued his explanation.
“This place simulates an area where enemies are firing cannons! You must run from here to the opposite side! If you’re even slightly delayed, you’ll be deemed to have been hit by shells and killed!”
After this brief explanation, Lee Jing-ok took a torch in his hand and moved to the side.
“See this fuse? I’m going to light it now! If you’re late, you’ll be hit by shells and die! Run!”
“Waaah!”
With his command, Lee Jing-ok lit the fuse, and the soldiers began running with shouts.
A difference became apparent as soon as they started running. The soldiers with average builds quickly pulled ahead, and the gap between them and the obese soldiers grew increasingly wider.
Bang! Pop-pop-bang!
Suddenly, buried gunpowder exploded, showering the soldiers with lime powder.
“Pfft! Cough! Cough!”
The soldiers, instantly covered in white lime powder, reached the opposite side while sneezing.
After arriving shortly afterward, Lee Jing-ok addressed the soldiers with a contemptuous expression.
“See the lime powder covering you? You’ve already been hit by incendiary shells and died. Why? Because of that fat! Ah, I see! From now on, those crazy enemies you’ll face don’t have cannons! But they do have arrows! Follow me!”
At the shooting range, five Type A war carts, retired and retrieved from storage, were waiting with all preparations complete. On the opposite side where targets would normally be, about twenty scarecrows of various builds—both slim and obese—had been set up.
“Fire!”
Swoosh-swoosh-swish!
At Lee Jing-ok’s command, the waiting war carts fired a total of 500 singijeon rockets.
After examining the recovered scarecrows, Lee Jing-ok asked the soldiers.
“Being bigger means more arrows hit you, doesn’t it?”
“…”
Through several more demonstrations, the soldiers came to understand why they needed to lose weight.
“Now, do you understand why you need to lose weight? With your current bodies, you won’t be able to fight properly and will either die or be captured, only to feed those bastards. Any objections?”
“N-no, sir!”
At the soldiers’ response, Lee Jing-ok smiled coldly and continued.
“Well, you would have had to comply with the imperial decree anyway. In any case, now that you understand why you need to lose weight, let’s start working on it.”