Chapter 58***

“… I thought I was prepared to accept any answer you might give from here on out. But…” 

Takumi had not yet decided to respond to Commander Leon’s feelings. However, when Commander Leon confessed his love seriously, he would sincerely accept that feeling and give an answer. As a result, he said it was possible for him to be with Commander Leon.

Driven by impulse, I was kissing him. But no matter how much I savored his lips, the cloudy thoughts that had welled up inside my chest did not disappear. I was unbearably anxious.

I hugged Takumi tightly in my arms. But that was still not enough.

What if. What if Takumi ends up leaning his feelings towards Commander Leon—just imagining that makes my body feel as if it’s cooling from the core.

Before that happens, I even thought about taking him somewhere and confining him there.

“But… the thought of you possibly leaving me someday is unbearable…”

“Felix…”

Takumi called my name with a troubled look. His expression, his voice, were unbearably precious.

…Takumi’s honest way of thinking should be praised and cherished. Neither I nor Commander Gazelle received a formal response to our confessions from Takumi. It’s not like we could object to such thinking of his.

But, I had expectations. I wanted Takumi to assertively tell me that he doesn’t have such feelings towards Commander Leon.

So far, he had never shown any dislike towards me or Commander Gazelle. Although there were many times when he blushed and seemed embarrassed, he had never seriously refused me. On the contrary, recently there were times when he seemed happy about kisses and light skinship. That’s why I had a faint hope somewhere in my heart.

That it would be me, and not anyone else, that he would pour his love on.

But…

After hugging Takumi for a while, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around my back.

“…I’m not worth being spoken to like that by Felix.”

“That’s not true. For me, you’re irreplaceable and important, more than anything else.”

“Haha… Is that so? If Felix says so, I feel like I can have more confidence in myself.”

He shrugged his shoulders and laughed in a ticklish way. Takumi, he always seems to have a low self-esteem. His modesty is a virtue, but sometimes it can be frustrating.

“Felix…”

When I remained silent, Takumi patted my back with the arm he had around me, as if to soothe me. It was a gentle hand, like comforting a crying child.

“I can’t say anything about Leon right now. But… I like both Felix and Gazelle. Can’t that be enough for now?”

“Takumi…”

His kind voice brought relief and filled my chest with a warm feeling. It was like a faint light had been lit in the stagnant darkness.

“…Thank you, Takumi. I showed you an unbecoming side of me due to my anxiety.”

… I exhaled slowly so as not to be noticed by Takumi, and managed to bring out my usual smile. Then, Takumi seemed relieved and dropped his shoulders.

“What are you talking about? If Felix is unsightly like that, then I’m only displaying my shameful sides.” 

“Haha, you’re joking.”

Somehow I kept my cool and maintained a friendly attitude.

Otherwise, I felt like I would blurt out my inner thoughts to him.

Ugly.

I didn’t want him to know that I had such ugly, self-serving expectations.

…No. Considering the intelligent Takumi.

Perhaps he’s already noticed my ugly wish.

Even so, he said that to me.

Although it is not a romantic feeling, I can’t show a more pathetic figure to him who said he “likes” me and Commander Gazelle.

Thinking so, I was trying to patch up my usual self- but something peeking from the collar of his shirt caught my eye.

A nape that still retained a little innocence that had not yet fully grown into an adult.

There was a red mark on it, a little above the good-shaped clavicle that continued down. Anyone could see, it was a clear mark of ownership.

“Takumi…what’s that mark?”

“Mark?”

“By the way, you were called by Commander Gazelle last night, weren’t you?” 

“Yeah, I was… Wait, ah…!” 

I pulled Takumi’s body closer and brought my face to his sweetly scented nape.

Then, when I pressed my lips against the position opposite the ownership mark left by Gazelle, I sucked hard on the soft skin.

“Nngh! Fe, Felix…!”

“Heh… You’re as sensitive as ever. Did you let Commander Gazelle hear such sweet sounds last night too?”

A high-pitched voice echoed.

The voice calling my name in desperation was so cute that I reached out and touched his chest over his shirt.

When I fiddled with the decoration on his chest through his shirt, Takumi raised an even sweeter voice.

“Fe, Felix…! Not here, someone might come…” 

“I can’t imagine anyone coming to the library at this time.” 

“But…”

“And besides–you were alone with Commander Gazelle in his office last night, weren’t you?” 

When I told him that with a little jealousy, Takumi fell awkwardly silent.

“Is it only okay for Commander Gazelle to touch you? I want to touch you too, Takumi.” 

“Ugh…”

“I won’t go all the way. Okay?”

Although he seemed reluctant, Takumi nodded.

I felt relieved to him who allowed me to touch his body. At the same time, I found his honesty in listening to my request charming.

Before Takumi changed his mind, I quickly relaxed his lower clothes.

Surprisingly, it was starting to get loose there.

“Heh… Is this because of my touch just now? That’s delightful.” 

When I whispered this in a teasing manner, Takumi’s face turned bright red.

And he shamefully wandered his gaze.

I found his innocent reaction irresistible and wanted to tease him.

When I slid my finger over his penis and rubbed the sensitive tip, as expected, Takumi raised a sweet voice.

“Hee!!!”

I was happy with his honest reaction. I wanted to mess him up more with my hand.

As I peeped into his face with the bubbling lust in my heart, Takumi tried to suppress his voice by biting his lips.

I hastily took Takumi’s hand and let him hold my finger in his mouth. I didn’t mean to hurt him.

“Takumi, don’t hurt yourself like that. That’s not what I want”

“Mmmnh, ha…”

“If you feel like you’re going to make a noise, you can bite my finger instead.”

 

However, even when gently admonished in a kind voice, Takumi did not try to bite my finger. Nonetheless, he didn’t remove his finger, and in seeming distress, he continued to gnaw on it. 

The sensation of Takumi’s soft tongue touching my finger sent a thrilling chill down my spine. I wanted to pull my finger out right away and feed something else into his mouth, but I managed to suppress that desire.

Instead, I moved my finger, gently tracing Takumi’s tongue and teeth with my fingertips. Takumi, in turn, shuddered slightly and looked at me with a puzzled face, not knowing what to do. 

“Hehe, you really are gentle. Should we test how much you, who are so sensitive, can endure?” I said.

“Ngh…!”

With the hand opposite to the one in his mouth, I began to fondle Takumi’s penis. 

Without touching the shaft, I tickled only the soft and sensitive tip. 

Takumi’s penis soon began to drip pre-cum, but since I wasn’t stroking the shaft, ejaculation was far off. Presumably frustrated, Takumi’s penis trembled pitifully.

Still, I did not provide any direct pleasure. I scooped up the pre-cum oozing from the tip with the pad of my finger, and began to rub the small opening slickly. Then, the clear pre-cum began to overflow more, but I still didn’t touch anything below the head of his penis.

Gradually, Takumi’s voice became a cry of almost a scream, but on the contrary, the sound filled the hollow in my chest and felt pleasant. 

I was aware that I was tormenting him too much, but I couldn’t stop. 

Just for now, I wanted to delude myself that he was mine.

“Ngh, nnh! Ngh, uhh…!”

So, in the end, when Takumi squirted, I could not stop my hand. 

“Ah…huh…nn…!”

Takumi, whose knees were trembling, seemed to struggle to stand, clinging to me with both arms. 

I gently pressed my index finger against his penis, which was still squirting, and began to torment the sensitive tip with my finger again. Takumi, helpless, flushed his cheeks and drool dripped from the corner of his mouth. And then, as he was pushed on, he squirted a second time.

In that moment, a slight pain shot through my finger that was still in his mouth.

“Hah…ah…” 

When I pulled my finger out of Takumi’s mouth, there was a red mark on it. Although there were teeth marks, there was no blood, and it was not a wound, so it would probably disappear after a while. 

…I feel a little disappointed. It would have been better if it had become a wound.

“Heh…ah…”

I shifted my attention from my index finger and looked at Takumi, he was slumping against the bookshelf, sliding down to sit on the floor. 

He didn’t even have the energy to adjust his underwear, and he was panting heavily on his shoulders. 

Seeing him like that, a cold sweat ran down my back.

“Takumi, are you okay?”

I overdid it. I didn’t mean to push him this far. 

In a rush, I kneeled on the floor to get a closer look at his face. Takumi seemed dazed at first, but after a while, our eyes finally met.

“Fe…Felix…”

“I’m sorry, Takumi. I overdid it a bit. Can you stand?”

At my words, Takumi shook his head from side to side.

His gaze suddenly fell on my hand. And then, he wore a stunned expression. 

“Ah—Sorry, Felix.”

“Eh?”

“I accidentally bit your finger. Didn’t it hurt? There’s a mark left, I’m sorry.”

He noticed the finger with the mark left on it and looked at me with concern.

For a moment, my thoughts froze. But in the next moment, I was hugging Takumi again with both arms.

“Fe, Felix…?”

“…You’re truly a kind person, Takumi.”

He’s so gallant and endearing. I feel ashamed of myself for being jealous of Commander Leon.

“There’s no need for you to apologize. I should be the one apologizing, Takumi.”

“Hm? About the lunch? Well, the afternoon is all lecture so I don’t mind skipping a meal…”

As Takumi said, the bell signaling the end of the lunch break had just rung.

But of course, that’s not what I’m talking about. He probably knows that, and he’s trying to lighten the mood with a joke.

Unfortunately, his joke was anything but good, but I was comforted by his thoughtfulness.

“Takumi… I’m truly sorry. It seems I’ve been taking advantage of your kindness too much.”

“…Eh? No, like I said—”

“I will distance myself from you for a while. As it stands, I’ll only keep taking advantage of your kindness, and I’ll end up hurting you…”

“!!”

I can’t continue like this.

At this rate, I’ll start projecting my jealousy onto Takumi. I want to retrain myself before I seriously hurt him.

If I were to tell the truth, just thinking about distancing myself from him makes me feel like my stomach is being twisted. But I have no other choice. If I can’t control my emotions at least, I can’t become a man worthy of him.

“Fe, Felix? I really—”

I silenced Takumi, who was trying to continue speaking, with my gaze and quietly shook my head.

I helped him dress, cleaned up the dirty floor and clothes, and then turned back to face Takumi. His dark, wet eyes were looking up at me anxiously.

“Takumi… see you later then.”

I resisted the urge to kiss him and instead gently stroked his cheek once.

Then, with a heavy heart, I turned my back and started walking.

As I left the room and closed the door, I walked down the deserted corridor, staring at the hand that had just stroked Takumi’s cheek.

The tooth mark on my index finger–was already almost gone.