Is it because of similarities like this that you and I were chosen as the sources of destruction?

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the statement that instead of following the system’s orders, the boy had first thought of ending his own life.

He was walking a path amusingly similar to his past self. If Noah had characteristics similar to his own, he too would be unable to die by suicide. He would only taste terrible pain before reviving, and eventually go mad under the system’s pressure.

It was clear as day that he would try to escape using every means possible, but eventually run out of energy and choose what the system wanted, in a haggard state.

Then he would cry his heart out.

You’ll cry like that too.

And in the end…

His head throbbed at the continued thought. Knowing what the result was after living like that for 10 years made his blood run cold. His mind, which had been excited by the possibility of death, cooled, and the rationality that had momentarily blurred returned.

His biased thoughts circled back again. Thinking about it again, it was an incredibly flimsy plan.

If he couldn’t die by Noah’s hand, how would he take responsibility for what came after?

What would he do with Noah, whose mind would be broken after killing him? How would he console Han Geon-joo when he found out? And how would he pick himself up after being frustrated once again?

The moment his prediction went awry, there was too much to lose. There was too much to take responsibility for, too much to clean up.

It was a situation too ambiguous to attempt without certainty.

Above all, wasn’t he already in the midst of an attempt?

‘The Resister.’

He had a feeling that activating that trait would be more likely than dying by Noah’s hand. So rather than doing something unnecessary and toppling the tower he had built up until now, it was a thousand times better to maintain his composure and cultivate the path he was already on.

Isn’t it worth enough, being the first system error to appear?

Having thought that far, Sa-yoon smiled self-deprecatingly and frowned. He found himself disgustingly pathetic for getting distracted by the sweetly presented choice and picking at leaves instead of seeing the forest.

Only after slapping his ear and vaguely seeing the forest did Sa-yoon exhale and bend down towards the boy whose face was full of anxiety.

Anxiety.

It was an emotion that hadn’t left the child’s expression since the system appeared. It couldn’t be helped. If the system had appeared, the rest of his life would be lived in anxiety, anger, and obsession; this was merely a precursor.

So what Noah needed now, what he desperately wanted, must be psychological stability free from anxiety.

Sa-yoon slowly stroked the head of the boy who had tried to die rather than kill him, and slowly opened his mouth.

“…Why are you trying to die?”

Doing something out of character made the words that came out of his mouth feel awkward and terrible. His voice seemed strange too, so he frowned and cleared his throat with a “ahem,” causing Noah to look bewildered. Feeling embarrassed by the gaze that seemed to ask why he was suddenly acting like this, Sa-yoon’s voice unintentionally became firm.

“I asked why you’re trying to die.”

“…Because a paper appeared.”

He answered as if in a trance, with a blank face. His mind seemed quite busy trying to understand how things were unfolding.

“What paper?”

“The paper that appeared in the toy store. Didn’t you, didn’t you see it too?”

“I did.”

“Then…”

“But I don’t know what it said.”

“What?”

Noah showed his confusion at the unexpected words. His dry lips moved, flapping open and closed, which Sa-yoon found quite amusing. As he was thinking this, the boy grabbed onto Sa-yoon’s clothes.

“But how did you know?”

“Know what?”

“You told me to pretend I didn’t see or hear it even if it showed up for me. And today too, you asked if I was going to kill you. So I thought you had read that paper together…”

His face looked not just confused, but as if his soul had left his body. If others saw him, they might think Noah had seen a ghost. As Sa-yoon stroked the boy’s pale cheeks, he thought of an excuse. After pondering what to say, he decided to just brush it off vaguely.

“It’s just intuition.”

“Intuition?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty good at that kind of thing.”

He didn’t want to confess that he too had the system appear and feel a sense of shared suffering. Detesting the atmosphere becoming tender and sentimental, he casually lied, to which Noah marveled with an expression devoid of any doubt. It was an innocence that would believe even if Sa-yoon said he could make tofu out of red beans.

“So it was intuition.”

“You don’t doubt at all, do you?”

“What’s there to doubt?”

“What if I’m lying?”

“What’s the point of lying about something like this?”

That’s true.

The oddly sharp retort made him feel a twinge of guilt. Having been inadvertently scolded, he stretched the innocent boy’s cheeks, causing Noah to whine in pain and rub his reddened cheeks.

“And somehow, you seem like you would be.”

“Be what?”

“Like you’d be really good at intuition. You’ve always come to save me at just the right moment. If it weren’t for you, I would have died at least twice.”

So…

He trailed off mid-sentence and made an expression as if he was about to cry again. Sa-yoon had no idea what the problem was. As he quietly waited for the boy to continue, Noah finished his sentence in a small voice, as if forcing it out.

“…So I wanted to save you too.”

Actually, this isn’t really saving anything. At least, I didn’t want to do anything bad to you.

The added words were so quiet that if he didn’t have S-rank hearing, he might not have heard them. How could such small eyes hold so much emotion? The deep unease was clearly reflected in the eyes that met his.

Sa-yoon silently watched Noah, who looked as if he was carrying all the world’s anguish alone, then raised his hand again to pinch and stretch the cheeks that had filled out quite a bit thanks to Geon-joo’s feeding. Noah complained at being pinched for the second time.

“Stop it…”

“With such small hands, how could you save anyone? Can you even swing a sword?”

“I can!”

“From what I saw earlier, you were trembling because it was too heavy. How could you swing it?”

“I really can do it!”

“Sure, sure.”

“Hmph!”

When Sa-yoon responded halfheartedly, Noah, looking offended, pulled away from Sa-yoon’s hand. Then, as he tried to demonstrate swinging the sword, Sa-yoon chuckled and waved his hand.

“Stop, stop. You’ll hurt yourself swinging it around.”

It’s an A-rank sword.

It was too heavy and sharp for a twelve-year-old child to use. Worried that he might get hurt if left alone with it, Sa-yoon took the sword from Noah, sheathed the sharp blade, and stood up straight. Fortunately, Noah didn’t ask for the sword back.

As the topic they had been discussing came to an end, a bleak silence followed once again. However, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as before. It was a stillness somewhere between peace and awkwardness. As Sa-yoon was choosing his next words, a voice came from below.

“Don’t you think I’m strange?”

“What?”

“Me.”

“What’s strange about you?”

Sa-yoon responded calmly, lifting his head to check the position of the moon. He was trying to gauge how much time had passed.

“I’m telling you that a paper ordered me to do something. Then suddenly I was holding a sword… Isn’t that strange? I think I’ve gone crazy.”

“…”

“Don’t you think I’ve gone crazy?”

When there was no answer, the boy asked again. Only then did Sa-yoon turn his gaze from the sky to look down at Noah, whose face was unusually unreadable. Perhaps because he had just been looking at the moon, for a moment it seemed as if moonlight flickered in Noah’s eyes as their gazes met.

What kind of answer is he hoping for by asking me this?

He might be saying this because he wants to hear that he hasn’t gone crazy. It could be an attempt to lean on someone who is even slightly reliable, or he might be saying it hoping to be understood.

But whatever it was, it was a burdensome role for him to take on. Wearing ill-fitting clothes once is enough. The corners of Sa-yoon’s mouth twisted upwards.

“I’m not sure. I can’t answer that kind of question to a crazy person.”

“What?”

“I’ve been crazy for a long time already.”

After shrugging his shoulders, he gave a smile that reached his eyes, causing Noah to look confused. It was clear at a glance that he hadn’t fully understood what Sa-yoon said, so Sa-yoon’s hand ruffled the soft hair. There was no need to understand or dwell on his words.

“Don’t think about it too deeply. You’re not supposed to focus on nonsense when you hear it.”

“It was nonsense?”

“What did it sound like to you?”

“…I’m not sure.”

“Then just stay unsure.”

It wasn’t like he had said it hoping for understanding anyway. He just wanted to answer the kid’s question and fill the awkward silence.

When Sa-yoon spoke as if it wasn’t a big deal, Noah wrinkled his nose. The sight of him narrowing his brows reminded Sa-yoon of someone, making him chuckle. As he smoothed out the boy’s furrowed forehead, Sa-yoon slowly parted his lips.

The moon had tilted quite a bit, and it was about time to head back.

So, it was time to reach a conclusion.

“Noah.”

“Yes?”

“I’m saying this because I can do it if you want…”

Sa-yoon paused for a moment, looking at the smoothed-out forehead before lowering his gaze to meet the black eyes. They were as dark as the night sky. Feeling as if his own face was fully reflected in those eyes, he raised his hand to touch his face.

The expression he was making didn’t seem too awkward. It wasn’t forceful or stiff. Swallowing at the realization that it wasn’t much different from his usual expression, Sa-yoon stroked the head of the boy looking up at him with curious eyes, then voiced the conclusion he had reached inside.

“Shall I kill you?”