Chapter 121

It was late afternoon by the time we returned from visiting the Duke and Duchess. I expected them to scold us for suddenly leaving, but Mother’s reaction was different than I anticipated. She smiled and stopped the Duke as he was about to say something, remarking, “Young couples can be like that.”

Afterwards, Genevieve tried to leave, saying she had intruded with her sudden visit. However, things didn’t go as planned. We were held back by Mother to have dinner together, and were only able to leave after finishing tea time.

“It seems you’re quite the beloved son,” Genevieve said with a laugh under the twilight that had settled.

“Yes, I suppose so,” I replied.

“My, then it must not have been easy for them to allow the marriage. I was surprised they welcomed me so warmly.”

“Mother…” I blinked slowly, my gaze fixed on a carriage approaching us from the distance as I continued, “She wants me to get married early.”

Mother wished for me to marry as soon as possible. Perhaps because she had started a family early herself. Honestly, even I didn’t expect her to agree to the marriage so quickly.

“Of course, I’m not sure if we’ll be able to get their signatures yet.”

“I’ll do my best,” Genevieve said.

Although they had given verbal approval, we weren’t able to get the Duke and Duchess’ signatures on the documents right away. It seemed they wanted to look into things a bit more before making a decision.

“Thank you for escorting me back,” Genevieve said with a bright smile, waving her hand. “I’ll see you in ten days.”

Ten days from now.

It felt terribly unreal.

In ten days, I was supposed to bring return gifts to her family. Though they were ostensibly gifts to celebrate the marriage arrangement, in reality, Zachary would be among them.

“Take care until then,” I said.

“You too, Oscar.”

In an instant, the carriage carrying her departed. The carriage that had been full of luggage on the way here now sped off as if unburdened after unloading everything. I watched the carriage disappear into the distance before entering the mansion.

“Did you see the lady off safely?” Mother greeted me as soon as I entered. It seemed she had pushed me to escort Genevieve alone, only to wait for me inside.

“Yes. I’m sorry for leaving suddenly earlier.”

“Oh, my dear,” Mother’s cheeks flushed slightly. Her gaze was directed towards my neck.

“I understand completely.”

“…Ah.”

Thinking back, there would still be traces of the red lipstick Genevieve had deliberately left on my neck earlier. Mother seemed to have misunderstood completely, chattering on happily.

Fortunately, she seemed to quite like Genevieve. She had nothing but praise when speaking of her.

“Well then, I’ll retire now,” I said.

“Alright, rest well, Oscar. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Only after seeing Mother off did I realize how tumultuous the day had been. I felt so exhausted I could collapse at any moment. My head was throbbing, feeling like it might burst.

Genevieve’s sudden visit, then the communication with the Imperial Princess, and…

‘Zachary.’

I wondered what had become of Zachary. He hadn’t been seen among the servants since I told him not to follow me.

Though I was worried, I didn’t have the courage to face him with my unsorted feelings.

‘He seemed really shocked at the end.’

I hadn’t seen his face since I’d practically shoved him away before leaving, but I thought he must have been quite taken aback. He was probably startled by how forcefully I had acted.

But the moment I opened the door, I froze.

“…You.”

A large figure stood blocking my way. As always, he wore the neat servant’s uniform and the cloth mask with the ghost’s eye painted on it.

“Welcome back,” Zachary said.

Seeing Zachary behave as if nothing was amiss, as he always did, took my breath away.

I hadn’t expected Zachary to be in my room. My mind seemed to halt just as my body had frozen. Zachary approached me. He reached out and firmly closed the door that was still open. Then he spoke as if nothing had happened.

“Would you like to bathe right away?”

“…”

“Or would you prefer a light snack first?”

“What are you doing right now?”

Zachary is a servant and my slave.

“What are you doing?”

Recently, I had been so immersed in my feelings for him that I’d forgotten our relationship was that of master and slave.

Even if there were uncomfortable issues or feelings, a slave always had to cater to their master’s mood. They had to remain by their master’s side at all times. Zachary was clearly demonstrating this position now.

‘How long do we have to keep doing this?’

This situation was utterly dreadful to me.

I felt like letting out a bitter laugh. Despite my efforts to help Zachary find his sense of self, our relationship always remained the same.

Even if I act irritably, Zachary can’t question me. Even if he doesn’t want to see my face, Zachary has no right to refuse. He has nowhere to run, nowhere to return to, and no one to talk to.

If I had stormed out like that, he could have at least rested in his room. But he had already cleaned the room thoroughly and prepared to attend to me. But perhaps this is natural from Zachary’s perspective.

Because he is my slave.

Because he’s even come to have the illusion that he likes me, beyond our master-slave relationship.

“You can’t spend your whole life just attending to me,” I said.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at Zachary. It was too difficult to face him.

“Now you have to return to the Empire.”

He needed to know too. That our parting was truly imminent.

Yet somehow, I felt more hurt myself for announcing our separation.

‘Is it because I now know how precious he is to me?’

Most of my past life has always been with Zachary. It’s hard to even imagine what it would be like without him by my side, but will I be able to endure the empty space left by Zachary?

Just thinking about sending him away made my heart ache as if it were being squeezed.

“Young master.”

Zachary gripped my shoulders as I hung my head. But I didn’t look up.

I thought it might seem like I was rejecting him, but I kept my head down to the end. At this, Zachary’s hand on my shoulder tightened.

“I…”

He moved his lips as if to say something. It was strange. I was the one who wanted to hold on, but it felt as if he was clinging to me.

It hurt. Of course, he wouldn’t harm me. Yet he was causing me pain right now. I flinched and inadvertently raised my head.

‘…Ah.’

I thought perhaps Zachary was angry. There was so much strength in the hand holding me. But that wasn’t it.

“I’m sorry.”

Zachary removed his mask with trembling hands. The calm and cool face I always saw was nowhere to be found. He looked as fragile as cracked glass that could shatter at any moment.

“Young master. I’m sorry.”

Zachary hurriedly smoothed out my shirt, which had become disheveled from his grip. His face was deathly pale, his hands shaking.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Zachary clung to me, pleading, tears streaming down his face. I couldn’t react at all to Zachary’s state. I was too shocked and flustered. This made Zachary increasingly desperate. Now he started begging me.

I should tell him that his chance to return to the Empire has come, that he should go back to his original place.

There are only ten days left, but Zachary will need time to prepare too.

But I could only stare at him in dismay. I should say firmly that he needs to leave, that he has to return to the Empire… I squeezed my eyes shut. I could hide Zachary’s childlike clinging by closing my eyes, but that didn’t block out his voice. I opened my eyes again, taking in the sight of him crying uncontrollably. A pain like my chest being torn into thousands of pieces overwhelmed me.

“What on earth did you do wrong…”

You didn’t do anything wrong. But Zachary shook his head repeatedly and apologized to me.

“I was rude when you brought the person you’re going to marry. I’m sorry. I was wrong. Please don’t abandon me. Just let me stay by your side.”

I couldn’t hide my astonished expression as I watched Zachary beg so earnestly.

He truly feared being rejected by me. He pleaded so desperately that it felt like my wounded heart was crumbling.

“…No.”

I needed to steel my heart even more in this situation. I was the only one who could maintain balance in our relationship.

Before, I might have given in to Zachary. Seeing him clinging to me, I might have weakened and just kept him by my side. But things had to be different now. Our relationship needed to change. I shook my head repeatedly and stepped back.

“You need to return to the Empire.”

It’s a terrible spell. Beyond devotion, it’s a curse that makes him feel his life would end if abandoned by his master. Otherwise, he couldn’t cling to me like this.

But even more terrible than the spell was myself. It felt so filthy and disgusting that I had developed feelings for him when he had lost his sense of self. What did I really know about the real Zachary? All I knew was the Zachary under the spell.

‘Perhaps Genevieve knows Zachary better than I do.’

How had I reacted during my conversation with Genevieve today? Unlike me, who was ignorant about Zachary’s environment before the brainwashing, Genevieve knew various facts. I felt a great sense of self-loathing for my own ignorance.

“You… You can’t stay with me.”

We had already maintained an abnormal relationship for too long. I couldn’t stay with him any longer. If I did, I might end up tethering him to this mansion again with my misplaced obsession.

Because I like Zachary. Because I want to keep being with him.

I didn’t want to regret seeing him suffer and struggle because of the spell.

That’s why I had to cut him off decisively. Instead of wiping his tear-stained face, I had to push him away coldly.

Zachary had lowered his head at some point. He was so still, I couldn’t tell if he was quietly crying. As I was about to approach him out of concern, suddenly…

A chill ran down my entire body. As if I had become prey facing a predator.

It was impossible to even hide. For fear of being immediately devoured if I turned my back. I stood frozen, unable to even breathe properly.

“…”

Zachary slowly raised his head.

His cheeks were still wet with tears, and his eyes were rimmed with red.

Yet I wasn’t sure if he had truly been crying or not.

“Again.”

To Zachary, who was now looking directly at me with his head raised.

“You’re abandoning me.”

Because there was no expression on his face at all.