‘…Why did I hide?’

As soon as I heard the door opening, I was startled and ended up hiding. My actions preceded my thoughts.

All I could do was crawl under the desk.

Thud, thud, footsteps were heard. I thought he would come straight here, but he first entered the room where I had been lying.

As I listened to the fading footsteps, my heart pounded as if it would burst. Thinking about it, I wondered if there was any need to hide blindly, and just as I was about to go out…

I opened my eyes wide as I heard the sound of objects falling loudly.

The sound of several objects falling and rolling on the floor continued. It sounded like someone was hurriedly searching for something. I slowly came out from under the desk and headed towards the room where the sound was coming from.

“Where on earth… Where… I…”

I saw a large man with his entire body tightly wrapped, just like before. He was rummaging through the room, not even having brushed off the snow piled on his head and shoulders. He was so preoccupied that he didn’t even notice my approaching presence. I looked at the large basket placed near the entrance.

‘Medicinal herbs?’

The herbs inside were intact, not frozen despite this cold. Where did he get such perfect herbs from? In this barren land forsaken even by God.

“…What are you doing here.”

He turned around hurriedly, facing the now empty bed. Dark blue eyes were visible through the tightly wound black bandages. My heart ached.

I had briefly harbored such suspicions. That the owner of the cave might be Zachary. But I hadn’t been certain because I was afraid it might be a vain hope. I had turned away from the possibility, fearing that if hope was shattered, I would fall into despair so deep I might never rise again.

“Zachary.”

The moment I uttered his name, time seemed to stop. No, from the moment I met those dark blue eyes, all my time had already stopped.

I slowly took a step forward, not taking my eyes off Zachary. Zachary too, as if time had stopped, just stared at me endlessly. Each step I took towards him felt excruciatingly slow.

“Stop.”

A firm voice cut between us. He stepped back as much as I had approached.

“Do not come near me.”

Zachary spoke coldly, with eyes full of contempt, as if I were something dreadful.

But I didn’t back down. As I closed the distance he had put between us, he turned his head away from me. Then he walked past me quickly and left the room.

“You…!”

Are you running away like this again? Again? After how hard I’ve searched for you…

Just as I was about to grab Zachary, I felt dizzy.

“…Ugh.”

Perhaps due to the lingering cold, a throbbing headache washed over me. My vision spun and I staggered, leaning against the wall. I felt Zachary hesitate for a moment and turn towards me. Unable to hold on, I slumped to the ground.

Seeing me collapse, he could no longer move away.

To think this weak body would be helpful at a time like this. I was glad it could stop him in his tracks.

“Cough, cough!”

Even as I kept coughing with my mouth covered, I didn’t take my eyes off Zachary. Although I couldn’t see his expression clearly, he stood frozen, staring only at me. Zachary was still the same. Still worrying about me and caring for me. From way back then until now.

However, I couldn’t fully take in Zachary’s appearance. A fit of coughing overtook me along with a terrible fever. I lay prone on the floor, panting.

‘Damn it.’

The coughing wouldn’t stop. If it weren’t for this body, I would have rushed to grab Zachary right away. The rising fever and worsening condition weren’t because of Zachary. I couldn’t feel any holy power from him. These were just symptoms of the cold I had caught while staying in this cave. I desperately hoped that Zachary wouldn’t blame himself for my illness and leave me.

As I waited for the coughing to subside and tried to catch my breath, I heard the sound of footsteps.

‘Don’t go… Zachary.’

My heart was frantic. I tried to get up, but my outstretched hand only flailed uselessly in the air.

As I tried to raise myself even by crawling, I saw shoes at the edge of my vision. I was afraid he might turn and leave after approaching me. I deliberately coughed more violently and breathed heavily, pretending to be in more pain. Without doing so, I felt he might hide from me again.

Zachary gently rubbed my back. It was a kind touch, as if trying to soothe my cough.

‘Just a little longer.’

I held my breath, pretending not to notice. Waiting for Zachary to let his guard down.

“Got… you.”

I grabbed his arm with all my might. Contrary to my expectation, he didn’t roughly shake off my hand. He only wavered for a moment. I clung to him with all my strength, grabbing him with both hands, and raised my head.

“Why…”

Zachary’s eyes seemed to demand why I was here. Forcibly suppressing my cough, I barely managed to squeeze out my voice.

“If you run away one more time…”

I glared at him, gasping for breath.

“I’ll really die.”

I’ll really die, I said.

His blue eyes widened at those words.

I meant it. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to hold onto him. Even if I had to stake my life on it.

“Co-cough.”

But contrary to my bold statement, my body was in a terribly unusable state.

Was this the price for staking my life? My body, burning with fever, was far from normal. My hands gripping Zachary’s arms felt like they might slip at any moment. My whole body was drenched in cold sweat.

“…How can you say you’ll die in front of me…”

His eyes, as he embraced me clinging to him, were filled with indescribably deep emotions. Those eyes overflowed with heavy feelings directed at me.

“Because, because you only look at me when I’m like this.”

Our eyes properly met as I gasped. Zachary whispered softly.

“You’re always like this.”

My vision repeatedly blurred and cleared. Zachary’s clear and deep eyes kept appearing hazy. No matter how many times I blinked away the tears that welled up, more kept coming, blurring my sight.

How I had longed for this embrace. How many nights had I cried alone, missing him who didn’t even appear in my dreams? His embrace holding me was still as gentle as I remembered.

“To get to you, I hesitated so many times…”

I forcibly suppressed my sobs and stared at Zachary until the end. His dark blue eyes looking at me also seemed to be misted over.

“…I, you.”

Only after a long while did a quiet voice leak out.

But I didn’t hear the words that followed. My head plunged to the floor.

As if weights were attached to my entire body, my limbs in his embrace sank heavily. I ended up fainting just like that.

***

Every time I was sick, I harbored resentment towards the world that had made me born with such a frail body. Because my body wasn’t healthy, even my goal of twisting the original story wasn’t as easy as I had thought.

But now, for the first time, I felt grateful for my sickly body.

“Uh, mm.”

As I gasped with feverish breath, warm water moistened my lips. Even in my hazy state, unable to open my eyes properly, I could tell that the hands tending to me were very careful and gentle.

Through my blurry vision, I could see hands wearing thick gloves. He seemed to still be wearing ridiculously large gloves and clothes.

‘I want to see you.’

Wanting to see Zachary, I tried to gather my hazy consciousness and clear my vision. But in this cave with very little light allowed, it was of no use. I couldn’t see properly even an inch in front of me. Still, I could be certain that he was by my side.

However, Zachary took care of me while staying as far away as possible. He would approach like a ghost, seemingly waiting for times when he needed to feed me rice porridge or when I was moaning in pain from high fever. Other than when necessary, he would just watch me quietly from a distance.

‘It’s not because of you that I’m sick, so don’t stay so far away.’

But I didn’t say anything. If I seemed to be alright, Zachary might turn his back without hesitation.

Still, being like this kept reminding me of the old days. It’s really sorry to say this to Zachary who was busy nursing me, but I was glad to be reminded of the memories of him taking care of me at the mansion.

Back then, too, he always used to check my feverish forehead. Gasping with hot breaths, I barely managed to reach out and grab Zachary’s sleeve. At the same time, I felt his body stiffen.

Yet he didn’t remove my hand. He pretended not to notice, allowing himself to be held by my pitifully weak grasp.

“…don’t go.”

I spoke clumsily to Zachary as he replaced the wet cloth on my forehead. I roused my deeply sunken voice again.

“Don’t go.”

I could be certain that Zachary was listening intently to my voice.

“You have to… stay by my side…”

Because with those ridiculously large gloved hands, he very carefully enveloped the hand I had reached out.