Chapter 200

“…Are you messing with me right now?”

“Did it sound like I was messing with you?”

When I asked back, genuinely curious, Geon-joo frowned. That alone was answer enough. I smacked my lips and kneaded the back of my neck to loosen the tense muscles. You can relieve tense muscles by pressing on them like this, but I had no idea how to untangle a knotted relationship. The more force I used, the more tangled it seemed to get. Human relationships were endlessly complicated.

This is why I never wanted to make them.

Relationships with people were bothersome and annoying. Unless it was a top-down relationship that could be crushed with force, status, and power, there needed to be a proper line, but the line in my relationship with him was blurry.

It wasn’t that it didn’t exist. I had always lived my life drawing a line that others should not cross. I had done the same with Han Geon-joo.

Always, from the past until now. It was just that he ignored it all and crossed the line every time, and things had gotten strange because I hadn’t completely cast him out for it. What else could it be but a blurry line when nothing happened even after he crossed the line I had so carefully drawn?

It was a strange relationship.

This alone was strange enough… but come to think of it, there was one more thing that was puzzling.

He was the one crossing the line I had drawn. If that was the case, what about me?

Had I not crossed the line?

Before that, had I ever even properly seen the line he had drawn? In the first place, had he ever drawn a line with me?

I didn’t know. Because in the past, such things weren’t important. I was too busy assessing a person’s value rather than their relationship, so I had never properly figured him out. Because of that, there was not a single question that had surfaced that I could answer.

I let out a hollow laugh. Self-pity and a sneer seeped into the corners of my mouth.

“You’re still messing with me.”

I don’t know how he interpreted that faint smile, but he muttered in a thoroughly vexed voice. I wasn’t messing with him; he said I was annoying, so I was just acknowledging it, ‘Alright, you find me annoying, I am an annoying person.’ I was the one who was being wronged here.

I don’t remember when I read it, but some parenting book said so. When a brat is being stubborn and sulking, first you have to listen to what they’re saying, empathize with them, and acknowledge a part of their opinion. It said only then would they feel they weren’t being ignored and their heart would soften. It seemed that book was wrong about something. Even though I had faithfully practiced the policy laid out in the book, his face, far from relaxing, had instead changed to look even more insulted.

I should burn that book if I remember the title.

I, having shifted the blame to an innocent work and its author, looked down at the crouching Geon-joo and considered my options. I couldn’t tell which would be better: sitting down next to him, or slowly reaching out a hand to pull him up. Lee Jaehee hadn’t told me about this part. He had just told me to go out and apologize.

I couldn’t just apologize out of the blue, so I tried to at least make some small talk, and this disaster happened. It felt like the situation only got worse whenever I opened my mouth.

It wasn’t like this with other people, but it always ended up this way when I talked with him. If that was the case, didn’t that mean he also had a problem to some extent?

Just as I was thinking that was a rather logical judgment, he stood up from his spot. He had been acting like he would crouch there forever, but he stood up in an instant.

“Let’s talk.”

“About what.”

“About us.”

You came out to talk about that too, didn’t you, Guild Leader?

The man added in a tone that held not a shred of doubt, grabbed my hand, and headed for the elevator. I looked down and silently stared at the white hand that had snatched mine. His fingers were slender and long. It looked like I could easily break them if I wanted to, so I didn’t resist. Because this time, I had no intention of getting angry at him.

What would I do if I used my strength and those fingers happened to break?

Since I had a record, I followed him meekly. Once inside the elevator, the man pressed the button for the residential floor and leaned his head against the wall. A somewhat suffocating and gratingly uncomfortable silence followed. I could hear breathing. A sigh-laden breath flowed little by little from his lips.

Finally, when the elevator arrived at the intended floor, he pulled me into my room and sat on the edge of the bed. We could have talked in the hallway, so why he went to the trouble of coming all the way here, I would never know.

As we made eye contact, the man, who hadn’t let go of my hand even after reaching our destination, slowly opened his mouth.

“Why do you talk to that person?”

It was a silence broken after a long time. The words weren’t suitable for opening a conversation, so I tilted my head.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m asking why you only talk to that person about things related to me.”

“Lee Jaehee?”

“Yes. Before and now, whenever something happens with me, you don’t talk to me, you talk to him. Why?”

You’re not really doing it just to piss me off, are you?

The words added at the end sounded like sarcasm, but they felt like self-pity. I crossed my arms to delve into his motive for bringing this up. No, to be precise, I tried to. If only he, who was holding my wrist, hadn’t stopped my arm from rising. He held it tightly, as if telling me not to, so I frowned and stared at his face.

His expression was still not good, and his gaze was dissatisfied, but his touch felt strangely desperate. As if he were holding on for dear life, thinking I might go somewhere if he let go.

After considering various points, I let out a “no way” and parted my lips.

“Han Geon-joo.”

“What.”

“Are you doing this because you feel left out?”

I was unsure, so I thought it would be faster to ask directly. I threw a straight ball, and the one who had clamped his mouth shut didn’t answer. Guessing the meaning of his silence, I swallowed a dry breath.

What.

Is he really doing this because he feels left out?

It was a dumbfounding situation. I was giving him all the special treatment in the world, so what was there for him to feel left out about? Lee Jaehee was just a ‘whatever-you-ask’ totem living in the Night Rat guild. He was there because he wanted to be, and I let him stay there because our interests aligned. It was a relationship where I occasionally received his help, and in return, I provided him with my information.

What was there to feel left out about in that relationship?

Because Lee Jaehee was one who read the heavens, I treated him accordingly, and because it was a cooperative relationship, I took an attitude befitting it. That was all.

“Hey, pretty boy. What is there for you to feel left out about?”

I was so dumbfounded that my tone became rough without me realizing it. His gaze narrowed.

“How could there not be? I told you. Why do you discuss and resolve problems that you should be discussing with me, with him instead? How enjoyable must your conversations with him be that you don’t even notice me outside? You could have easily detected me.”

At his cold, trailing words, I felt a jolt. I had been listening quietly, but then my fingertips twitched. I narrowed my eyes and exchanged a look with him.

“You heard everything?”

“…”

“I asked if you heard everything.”

“…”

“Hah. Right, there’s no way you wouldn’t have heard.”

He’s an S-rank, how could he not hear?

I had been careless. Acknowledging that fact, I cursed inwardly.

That fox-like bastard, Lee Jaehee.

He’s an S-rank too, so he would have known Geon-joo was listening from outside. He must have set the stage, aiming for a moment when my senses were dulled because I was distracted by my argument with him.

What on earth did he see?

As I was thinking I needed to grab him by the collar and shake him, to hell with One Who Pierces Heaven’s Secrets, the grip on my wrist tightened.

“Who are you thinking about right now?”

“…”

This time, I chose silence. I looked at him with an uncomfortable heart and tried to pull my wrist away, but he held on with a stubborn strength. My eyebrow twitched up.

“Your wrist is going to break, Han Geon-joo.”

Not my wrist, your wrist.

I warned in a low voice, but he didn’t let go. It felt like a protest, as if to say, ‘If you’re going to pull away, you’ll have to break my wrist to do it.’ He didn’t even flinch at the warning; instead, his long fingers traced the area of my wrist. When he finally spoke again.

“Is that person more important than me?”

What is he talking about?

It was a series of dumbfounding words. It was a talent, to be able to pick out only such absurd things to say. I stared at him and tried to recall. What did they call this kind of thing?

“Han Geon-joo.”

“Speak.”

“Are you jealous?”

Yes. Jealousy. That was exactly it.

I looked suspiciously at the one who had now taken a step further from feeling left out. He stared straight into my eyes and then suddenly let out a laugh laden with emotion.

“Why would I be?”

I had expected him to be flustered, or silent, or get angry like a brat, but the answer that came back was a cold sneer that defied all my expectations.

“Just like you said, Guild Leader, I’m not in a position to interfere in the relationship between you and him. You said I couldn’t. That I’m not in a position to interfere. So why would I be jealous?”

“Fuck, then don’t interfere when you talk.”

He had done all the interfering, asking why I only talked with him, or who I was thinking about, yet this was not something he should be saying. The discrepancy between his words and actions was so great that my voice became aggressive without me realizing it. He pulled me sharply towards him.

“Telling me not to interfere? Is that all I get to hear again? Did you come out here just to say this?”

“Hey.”

This bastard, I let him get away with it and now… Just as my expression turned menacing, he bit his lip and let out a sound.

“I was the one who found out first.”

“…”

“And you have something to ask of me, too.”

“…Han Geon-joo.”

I swallowed and said his name.

“But why can’t I interfere? That person is already interfering in everything. You’re interfering in everything about me too, hyung. You have something to ask of me, you’re just planning to use me. Then as the one being used, don’t I have the right to interfere to some extent?”

Why do you keep, excluding me?

At his suppressed question, I couldn’t offer any rebuttal.

The voice, filled with misery, momentarily left me speechless.