No, no, no.
Why should I care about that?
The opportunity was won through hellish suffering, so there was no way the scene he saw in Heaven’s Secret was a lie. But was there really a need to care about a past so far removed from his current self? The angel in that vision was not him. And Han Geon-joo was not that evil god. He was Kwon Sa-yoon, and Han Geon-joo had the name Han Geon-joo. A name is what represents a person, a means of proving their place and existence. He had to focus on the now, not a past he never even knew.
Therefore, I’m the older one. Right. That bastard is still just a kid.
Sa-yoon erased the image of the golden-haired Han Geon-joo, who had looked as holy as if he’d stepped right out of a mythological painting. Over that face, he superimposed the one he knew so well.
A young man who looked sensitive, sullen, and so beautiful the word ‘alluring’ came to mind, but whose childishness would burst forth whenever he smiled or pouted his lips.
Yes, this suits him better. A satisfied smile touched his lips as he sorted things out in his mind. As his heart calmed, the contents of the vision he had just seen began to play back in his head.
As if demanding not to be forgotten.
“…”
“The secret that the heavens have concealed,” was it?
Sa-yoon clicked his tongue and ran a hand through his hair. Honestly, he was bewildered. It felt awkward and alien, as if a drawing called ‘the past’ had been forcibly pasted onto a clean white sheet of paper. Everything felt like someone else’s story, and he narrowed his eyes.
Still, the System wouldn’t have shown me that for no reason. I have to accept it somehow.
Should I consider it a past life?
To sum it up, it sounds like I saved a past-life Han Geon-joo who had become an evil god, and in doing so, I ended up shouldering his karma…
As he was calmly putting the pieces together, his brow suddenly furrowed. A deep crease formed between his eyes as he scowled.
Why is it telling me this now?
He had survived just fine without knowing until now. In fact, it hadn’t told him even when he’d asked why it had to be him. So why reveal the truth so abruptly?
It felt like there was some ulterior motive. Wasn’t the System a god in the first place? Then why all of a sudden…
He was deep in thought when it happened.
“Tsk.”
A throbbing pain started in his head. His vision flickered, and a divine melody pierced through his brain. Aaaaaaah. At the song, which sounded like an aria, Sa-yoon clamped his hands over his ears and shut his eyes. Someone’s scream echoed out. A scene unfolded in the darkness: something desperately raising its hands, begging for its life, before being pulled back under the water. The moment he perceived it as a frenzied dance, his body gave way. Sa-yoon fell to his knees.
Aaaaaaah.
The song continued.
His mind went white, and blood poured from his nose.
You shall enter the place where the angel blows the trumpet and the devil dances. A curse to the most virtuous, A blessing to the most wicked. Fate, and fate. An eternal fate repeats, its head swallowing its tail. Apocalypse. This is the apocalypse.
The rhythm of the familiar lyrics prodded at his cochlea like a brainwashing chant. The headache intensified, and Sa-yoon gripped his head, slamming his forehead against the floor. Bang! Bang! Bang! He struck it again and again, searching for the sensation of pain. When a dull ache finally registered, he lifted his head. A trickle of blood ran down, drawing a red line between his eyebrows.
He lifted his heavy eyelids, as if waking from a dream.
“Ah…” Sa-yoon let out a sigh.
Seven gods of immense stature stood before him. To be precise, they were surrounding him. The bewildered Sa-yoon looked around, then glanced down at himself.
Huh.
His hands were tiny.
Like the body of the small angel he had seen in Heaven’s Secret.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
The seven gods struck the floor with their staffs, as if demanding his full attention.
Sa-yoon. Oh, boy who will come to resemble the sun. Child who dared to free a sinner and take on his karma.
The voice, which struck like thunder, sounded both mournful and mocking. BANG! The staffs savaged the floor once more.
The seven gods declare your fate. You shall take on the karma of the sinner who slaughtered one hundred thousand souls and live a life of eternal suffering. You shall live a thousand times as a humble creature and commit sins as a human. You shall wash away sin with sin, and the quality of your soul shall fall. The karma you can never shake will continue to bind you, and you shall repeat an endless cycle of life and death until you realize the weight of the sin you carry.
As the declaration was made, the sound of the trumpets grew louder. The seven gods sang in unison.
You shall enter the place where the angel blows the trumpet and the devil dances. A curse to the most virtuous, A blessing to the most wicked.
It truly sounded like a spell of damnation.
Sa-yoon screamed and thrashed. His heart felt like it was burning to ashes. It was an unbearable heat, as if someone had forced his mouth open and made him swallow fire. Not only that, but his head felt like it was splitting apart. Being ground up by a chainsaw wouldn’t be more painful than this.
He had prided himself on having experienced a great deal of pain, but nothing had ever been so cruelly, agonizingly etched into his very soul. Gasping as if he would stop breathing at any moment, Sa-yoon threw his head back and looked up at the sky. He saw countless characters written on the ceiling. They were the names of the hundred thousand souls the sinner had killed.
Fate, and fate. An eternal fate repeats, its head swallowing its tail.
“Heok!”
Sa-yoon, driven by the instinct to live, gasped for air, and immediately regretted it. As if all his respiratory organs had declared a strike, it was impossible to exhale. He could neither spit out what he had swallowed nor swallow any more, and he gagged on the void. His head fell reflexively. The floor was reflected in his two blackened pupils.
Apocalypse. This is the apocalypse.
In that moment, a light flashed in Sa-yoon’s eyes. Three pairs of opaque hands rose from the floor and cupped his pale face.
Snake scales were sprouting all over Sa-yoon’s body. The hands that held him as his burning heart grew cold gently caressed his face, sharing their warmth. Sa-yoon watched them, unable to breathe.
Sa-yoon, our little sun. For you, who is so virtuous, I grant a single blessing.
A voice, so small only he could hear it, whispered in his ear. Something warm touched his forehead.
The only one who can save you from your misfortune is you.
His vision flashed.
‘To You, Who Will Be the Most Unfortunate (L)’
As the phrase was branded onto his corneas, the small Sa-yoon was struck with a revelation, like a prophecy. Salvation was nowhere to be found, and at the same time, it was everywhere.
“Heok!”
The sublime energy that had covered his body rushed in like a violent tidal wave, then receded like an ebb tide, and he could finally breathe. Back in his adult body, Sa-yoon curled into a ball, gasping for air. He secured his breathing and straightened up. He immediately opened his status window.
‘To You, Who Will Be the Most Unfortunate (L)’
It was a perk he had once thought was a mockery. But this time, it felt different. In his entire status window, where everything felt chilling, cold, and tinged with a vicious anger, only two sentences held any warmth. One was the inactive ‘The Resister,’ and the other was this goddamn perk.
Feeling his heart race wildly, Sa-yoon reached out to the perk.
The moment he pressed the name, his heart gave a violent thump! as if a defibrillator had gone off, and a bright light exploded before his eyes.
<Congratulations! You have cleared the special gate, ‘The True Evil of Humanity?’>
<The mark left on the gate will now manifest.>
<Will you end your life as an Evil?>
Three notification windows appeared at once, filling his vision where the light had flashed. As Sa-yoon stared blankly, another ting! sounded.
<(º □ º l|l)>
Sa-yoon burst out laughing.
All the puzzle pieces he had collected one by one were now falling into place. The lock was released. Finally feeling like he understood the completed picture of the once-incomprehensible drawing, Sa-yoon bit his lip, his vision blurring.
When the quest for activation first appeared, when he met Han Geon-joo, when he met Lee Jaehee. In all those moments, he had held onto hope. He had thought they would save him from this wretched life. He had thought they would be the key to breaking the endless chain of misfortune, that they would save him.
That they would kill him.
He never knew it was all a stupid misunderstanding.
From the moment it had revealed ‘The Resister’ disposition to him, that inscrutable System had been asking him.
Will you end your life as an Evil?
A hot breath escaped his lips. It was a breath filled with warmth. A breath that revealed the beating of his heart and the vitality of his life.
Resistance against the coming misfortune, resistance against an unjust life—it was not something others could do for you. Just as others could not live your life for you, they could not embrace your pain for you.
He was the master of his own life.
In the end, whether to give up, to conform, to struggle, or to resist.
Even salvation required the will of the one living the life.
He had come such a long way because he hadn’t understood something so simple.
<Your Pair’s health has dropped below 1%!>
The warning notification popped up, and Sa-yoon laughed again. It no longer looked like a danger signal. It looked like an urging, a prompting, like a cheer.
How absurd.
He muttered in disbelief and reached out his hand.
I have already decided to face my fear for your sake. So what is there to hesitate about?
His eyes came into focus. As if reading his mind, the System displayed the notification one more time.
<Will you end your life as an Evil?>
“No.”
With his answer, Sa-yoon closed the window. A pleasant light enveloped his body.
<Activation condition for the ‘A Step Toward Activation’ quest has been met! A new disposition will be activated.>
<Your second disposition is ‘The Resister.’>
<Due to a disposition conflict, your existing disposition ‘True Evil of Humanity’ will be temporarily deactivated!>
<With your ally, resist the fate that surrounds you! (º □ º l|l)>
With the notifications, the endless darkness receded, and the ground beneath Sa-yoon’s feet fell away.
“…Hyung!”
Han Geon-joo, on a ferry boat on the River of the Underworld, about to head toward the finally-opened exit, saw Sa-yoon falling and cried out, reaching for him in shock.