Yuichiro was startled awake by the sensation of being shaken. He could feel something vividly hot moving in and out of him with a wet, squelching sound between his open legs.
“Ah… ah… ahh…”
In his foggy mind, even his sultry voice sounded distant and muffled. The impact of something hard hitting the end of him sent his toenails kicking into the air, spread wide on both sides.
Even if Yuichiro tried, he couldn’t open his eyes. Sleepiness and lethargy overtook him, causing his eyelids to droop. With each exhale, he could detect a strong odor of alcohol. Yes, he had been drinking with someone, but who…?
“Tsu… ha… ahh!”
Even as he tried to recall his memories, the rhythmic motion’s increasing intensity caused his thoughts to scatter. Something firm was hitting the dead end inside him with force. The pleasurable friction against his heated mucous membrane caused intermittent spasms in my inner thighs and lower abdomen. A squelching sound echoed from deep within his abdomen with every rough up and down movement.
Yuichiro’s arms moved weakly as if reaching for something as if he needed something to cling to. His fingertips inadvertently brushed against long strands of hair as he did so. A wave of relief washed over him at that moment.
He judged it was Temeraire who was embracing him because of his long hair.
“Ahh… ah… you… you…”
He dug his fingertips into the back of the man, leaning over him while calling out the name as if seeking more pleasure. A secretive laugh echoed from above as he twisted his hips in time with the other’s movements.
“Who… who… who is it?” he exclaimed.
He felt all the blood in his body retract with a rush when the slurred voice reached his ears. In an instant, his heavy eyelids slid open. Yuichiro’s lips trembled as he saw the face in front of him.
Goat was looking down at him, his face flushed with pleasure. His face, dripping sweat from his brow and faintly smiling, was frighteningly full of masculine allure.
They saw each other’s naked bodies as their gazes dropped. And Goat’s hips were pressed against Yuichiro’s legs.
“Go-Goa—Ah!”
He was pierced painfully profound the moment he called out the name as if his inner thighs were being pried open. The thrust that buried itself to the root twisted and gouged deeper as if trying to break through a dead end.
“No, Ah, stop!”
A pleasure-seeking voice murmured dreamily from directly above. Yuichiro let out a frail scream while violently shaking his head from side to side.
“No! “Put a stop to it!”
He had no idea how things had come to this. A ceiling he didn’t recognize appeared beyond Goat’s shoulder. This was most likely Goat’s personal residence.
He tranced his limbs, attempting to push Goat’s body away. On the other hand, the man looming over Yuichiro only deepened his smile and grabbed his wrists as if to restrain his movements, sewing both arms into the sheets.
“It feels so good, why do you want to stop?”
A slightly slurred voice replied. Goat appeared completely inebriated, with a melting gaze. Even though Goat was not supposed to be sensitive to alcohol, he couldn’t recall how much he had consumed the night before.
“Just get it out already!” Yuichiro yelled in a hoarse voice, staring up at Goat.
Even though it was already past redemption, pushing further would only exacerbate the situation. What had been pleasurable until consciousness returned became an extremely repulsive sensation.
A wet squelching sound echoed as he was thrust deep again, and he exerted strength on the arms pinned to the sheets. “Ahh!”
Numbness pierced through his abdomen and into his brain. He heard Goat’s faint laughter as he writhed against the sheets, pressing his shaft against them.
“I’m already letting it out again, so it’s too late to be hesitant now.”
The whispered words sent shivers up and down his spine. Goat grabbed Yuichiro’s hips and lifted them forcefully, looking down at him, who remained stiff with his lips half-open. Yuichiro’s field of vision was captured at that moment by the thick, rigid part of Goat deeply embedded at its base. White, frothy semen clung to the connected area.
“H… Hot…”
He was speechless, overcome by shock. When Goat saw Yuichiro, he smiled and narrowed his eyes.
“Let’s call it quits for now.”
What did he say? What exactly did he mean by “quits”?
His blue eyes were fixed on Yuichiro’s face. His own trembling lips appeared strangely foolish in those deep blue irises.
“Did you think you could pretend not to notice forever?” said the leering Goat, lips curled.
A shiver ran down my spine as I heard his soft voice. My wide-open eyes were filled with Goat’s face, which had an expression that seemed to mix laughter and tears.
The man’s finger slipped into Yuichiro’s mouth as he opened his lips to call his name. He pressed his thumb against the back left molar, almost as if he were biting it.
“Uh, ugh…!”
Yuichiro couldn’t close his mouth, and his lips were soon pressed together. Goat’s tongue, which had protruded impatiently, roamed erratically inside his mouth.
“Tsu, mwah, Aaah…”
The sensation of Goat’s tongue entwined with his caused him to groan from the depths of his throat. But Goat didn’t hesitate; he snatched Yuichiro’s evasive tongue, sensuously rubbing it against his own.
Goat’s hips began to move again with the movement of his tongue. He moved his heated flesh with a slow, deliberate motion inside him.
“Mmmngh, mmm, Aah…”
The pleasure was prolonged by Goat’s forceful, drawn-out movements, which caused both Yuichiro’s legs to kick futilely in the air. While he attempted to push against Goat’s back with both hands, their bodies remained tightly pressed together, making Yuichiro’s efforts ineffective.
Squelchy, indecent sounds echoed from above and below. Yuichiro’s mind went blank whenever he heard that sound, unable to think of anything.
“Sto…p, stooop!”
He yelled for him to stop kissing him, but Goat’s lips didn’t part. Instead, the man poured alcohol-tasting saliva into his mouth. Their mixed saliva flowed from the corners of their mouths like baby drool.
The sensation of his tongue tip being teased on his upper palate sent shivers down his spine, and Yuichiro couldn’t help but moan.
“Fuaah…”
He couldn’t stand hearing his own pleasured voice escape from his lips. Yuichiro clenched his back teeth in frustration, and Goat let out a small groan. As Goat’s thumb was pulled out, Yuichiro immediately tasted the metallic taste of blood spreading in his mouth.
With a wry smile tinged with bitterness, Goat examined his saliva and blood-stained thumb.
“Do you hate me that much?”
He said it quietly, his bloody tongue sliding across his lips. The slimy sensation of blood hit his lips as soon as it touched them.
Yuichiro’s eyes widened as he looked at Goat. When he saw this, he kept a troubled smile and said softly, “If you hate it that much, bite off my tongue.”
Their lips were pressed together again the next moment. Goat’s tongue slipped in without being bitten this time, and the kiss was even more sensual than before.
“Fuh, mmm…”
The sticky sensation caused his skin to shiver as their tongues slid against each other. Despite knowing that he should bite the man’s tongue, as Goat suggested, Yuichiro couldn’t bring himself to do so, especially when he saw his sorrowful eyes staring down at him from a close distance.
The rhythm continued; his hips were tightly gripped, and he was penetrated repeatedly. Yuichiro’s body convulsed violently, and strange sounds came from his throat.
“Tsuh, ugh, ugh, Tsuh!”
Yuichiro’s entire body twitched as Goat’s movements became more intense from both sides. Yuichiro felt Goat’s manhood growing inside him, and his arms moved restlessly.
He felt a faint laugh flow into their overlapping lips as he scratched Goat’s back with both hands. It was a mocking, loving laughter that mocked and cherished his futile resistance.
“Ah, mmngh, ah, ah!”
Both of their erections pressed tightly between their own bellies as they intertwined with a squelching sound, becoming a tangled mess. Yuichiro’s spine tingled at the thought of being pushed to the brink of collapse.
Goat’s fingers tightened around his waist with increasing force. Goat appeared to be reaching his limit.
“Ah, inside, inside, ah… ha…!”
Yuichiro’s words were lost amidst the rough tongue that was ravaging his mouth, despite his desire to say not to release inside. His voice, however, was in vain as the tip that had been persistently thrusting into them abruptly halted. An electric sensation swept through his entire body at that precise moment. His back arched, and a scream-like cry escaped from his lips.
“Ah, Aaaaaahhh, Ahhhhh!”
Goat’s posterior appeared to contract simultaneously, and a beast-like growl escaped from his throat. A hot liquid was forcefully poured into Yuichiro’s body from Goat, his tip still embedded at the end.
Semen spurts onto Yuichiro’s belly from his own quivering shaft. He felt the substance being vigorously expelled inside him while convulsing from the intense climax.
“Ah… ah…”
Despite his desire to push Goat away, his arms were weak. Yuichiro’s hands slid down Goat’s back and landed weakly on the sheets. Goat felt a slight shiver in his lower abdomen as the semen was mixed within, and his hips gently moved back and forth, coating his insides with semen.
Yuichiro was staring blankly at the ceiling and exhaling heavily when he heard a sigh near his ear.
“I… wanna die like this.”
There was a hint of tears in the voice despite the laughter. Yuichiro couldn’t help but think that this guy was an irredeemable idiot at the time.
* * *
Yuichiro entered the bath alone, leaving the exhausted man to sleep like a limp string. A large amount of semen overflowed from within when he inserted his finger into the still-warm posterior that remained heated.
“Damn it.”
He felt a stinging sensation deep in his nose as the curse slipped from his lips. The mirror revealed a disheveled appearance and marks and bite marks all over his body. It was almost as if they were proving that they had had sex.
Yuichiro poured cold water over his head, hoping to clear his mind. His thoughts, however, remained scattered and unfocused. They were full of self-pitying phrases such as “What should I do?” and “What’s going on?”
How much time had passed in that manner?
Yuichiro’s body quickly became completely cold, and he began shivering uncontrollably. He reluctantly wrapped a towel around his waist and returned to his room, where he found a dazed man on the bed.
Goat’s lips twitched slightly as he entered the room. His pale complexion indicated that he had fully recovered.
Goat laughed hollowly and ironically.
“…Did we really do that?”
His tone was forced and almost mocking. Yuichiro sighed and crossed his arms, a mixture of resignation in his voice as he replied.
“You’ve really done it this time, huh…”
In response to Yuichiro’s remark, Goat sighed deeply and let out a long, thin sigh. Yuichiro, watching him, asked tersely, “Do you remember everything?”
“Yep, crystal clear.”
“Is that so?” Yuichiro returned the response by approaching Goat with long strides. The feeling that something was still stuck in the ravaged backdoor didn’t go away. As Yuichiro approached, Goat’s eyes widened briefly before he quickly squeezed them shut.
Yuichiro exclaimed angrily at the sight of Goat, his eyes closed but still facing upward.
“What are you doing?”
Goat opened one eye slightly in response to the question.
“I thought… maybe you were going to punch me.”
“Stop being ridiculous. “I’m not going to punch you,” Yuichiro responded angrily, clutching Goat’s right wrist. Yuichiro’s bite had left a gaping wound on the thumb of Goat’s right hand. The wound was caked in dried blood.
“Where are the first aid supplies?”
With a hesitant gesture, Goat took a small toolbox from the shelf beside the bed and asked Yuichiro. Taking it, Yuichiro extracted antiseptic and a cloth from within.
Goat looked at Yuichiro with wide eyes as he began to treat the finger on the bed.
“Uhm…”
“What?”
“Aren’t you going to strangle me?”
Yuichiro glared at the man who had asked such a perilous question. Goat immediately clammed up as if he realized his error. Yuichiro muttered dispassionately as he watched this.
“What has been done is done. It’s pointless to behead you right now.”
“Well, that’s true.”
“You said I could bite off your tongue if I didn’t like it.” I’m equally responsible for my inability to do so.”
Yuichiro was given the option of becoming a victim by Goat. If Yuichiro had bitten off Goat’s tongue at that time, he could have become a poor rape victim. He couldn’t, however. He couldn’t just say no to Goat. It was Yuichiro’s fault, his own sin.
Goat looked troubled after hearing Yuichiro’s words.
“You’re not to blame.”
“That’s a phrase only the victim can say.”
Yuichiro abruptly cut him off, and Goat let a wry smile slip across his lips.
Yuichiro sighed as he finished wrapping the bandage around Goat’s right thumb.
“I’m already over fifty… and a father of six…”
Adultery after the age of fifty was not a laughing matter. It would be the age in his original world to start thinking about one’s remaining years.
With a small laugh, Goat said to Yuichiro, “You are as beautiful as ever, unchanged from the past.”
“If you crack a pointless joke now, I might seriously want to kill you.”
Even without it, my blood vessels were on the verge of bursting, and I couldn’t afford to listen to Goat’s nonsense, Yuichiro reasoned.
Goat shrugged in response to Yuichiro’s words.
“You know my words aren’t a joke,” he said, his voice tinged with confusion, prompting Yuichiro to look up. Goat was looking at him with the same wry grin.
Goat claims Yuichiro has stayed the same since the old days, but Goat could be said to have changed. Although it has been over a decade since they met, almost nothing has changed. Goat looks like a man in his late twenties, just as Yuichiro hasn’t visibly aged since he was thirty-seven.
Goat suddenly flashed a relaxed grin as they faced each other.
“I’ll accept responsibility. On my own neck.”
Despite his lighthearted demeanor, his voice was firm. Goat jokingly placed a hand on his neck, which Yuichiro grabbed on the spur of the moment. “Don’t mess around.”
“I’m not kidding. What’s done is done, and someone must bear the consequences.”
“Didn’t I warn you? I’m just as guilty.”
“Noah-sama and Temeraire will never kill you. You may be imprisoned for a while, but they will eventually forgive you. But, even in death, they will never forgive me. A home-wrecker who drank their beloved blind and took advantage—such a man deserves to be ripped apart.”
Goat’s tone had a manic brightness to it. Yuichiro frowned visibly at his defiant demeanor. Goat leaned in close, his gaze fixed on Yuichiro’s face.
“After all, I’ve already achieved my heart’s desire. I don’t have any regrets.”
“What nonsense are you spouting?”
Goat’s face twisted as if in pain as Yuichiro spat out the words, his lips trembling slightly.
“How long will you—”
Goat spat out the words like a slash through the air. Yuichiro stiffened as Goat’s hands tightened around his shoulders. Goat fixed his gaze on Yuichiro and blurted out in a single breath, his face flushed with rage and agony. “How long must I remain “subordinate” and stay by your side?”
Yuichiro’s lips quivered as he heard the words. Goat’s gaze remained fixed on him as if he forbade Yuichiro from looking away. “You’ve long been aware of my feelings.”
Goat said it quietly as if delivering a final blow. Yuichiro’s voice became hoarse as a chill ran down his spine.
“Are you trying to say… it’s my fault?”
“Of course not. I told you it’s not your fault. You’ve simply been loyal to your family. I can’t hold it against you.”
“Then what are you trying to say?”
Yuichiro growled the question, and Goat averted his gaze for a moment. A childish voice murmured after a brief silence.
“Yuichiro-san.”
Yuichiro’s eyes widened when he heard the address. It was the first time Goat had addressed him as Captain Ogami or Goddess-sama. Goat’s hands were tightly clenched in his.
“Yuichiro-san.”
The repeated call drew an unbearable pity and a faint sense of affection from the depths of his heart. But that was an emotion he should never experience because it would betray his family.
“…Goat.”
He was about to tell him to stop when he was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace. A gentle hand brushed against his lips. Yuichiro inhaled sharply as he caught sight of Goat’s eyes up close.
“Go—…!”
He tried to express his displeasure, but then he realized. Goat’s arms trembled slightly, like a minor, shivering animal. He was rendered speechless.
It wasn’t a passionate kiss but a series of light pecks. Against each other, their lips were as cold as ice.
Goat let out a thin, self-mocking laugh when their lips finally parted.
“…” Are you going to strike me?”
Yuichiro simply frowned and muttered under his breath. His tone almost begged for a punch.
“Idiot…”
Goat’s smile broadened in response to Yuichiro’s words, but it was tinged with sadness.
Goat then pressed his brow against Yuichiro’s chest and began to speak shaky.
“There were times when I considered finding someone else. I know it’s better to choose someone who only looks at me than to pursue something unattainable… But I can’t seem to get you out of my head… I can’t abandon you…”
Goat’s trembling breath touched his chest with a heavy sigh. Goat pleaded hoarsely, wrapping his arms around Yuichiro’s waist.
“If you pity me… then please, just kill me with your hands right now…”
He was pathetically pessimistic despite his usually carefree demeanor.
Yuichiro moved his hand gently as he looked down at the trembling man. His fingertips caressed Goat’s soft hair, sliding through the stray ends, and then he placed his palm on the crown of his head, gently caressing it. Goat raised his head, perplexed.
“I’ve never even known what your hair felt like,” Yuichiro mused, to which Goat responded with a blink. Yuichiro slowly parted his lips as he stared into those eyes.
“I’ve got a family.” I don’t want to let Noah and Temeraire down. I love them with all my heart. I couldn’t live with myself if they ever despised me.”
Goat’s face twisted in pain as he stated flatly.
“I don’t even know how to explain it to the kids. I can’t bear the thought of them seeing their parent as unfaithful and promiscuous. I wanted to be the kind of parent that they could be proud of…”
His words became past tense, indicating that he knew there was no turning back. The sin cannot be undone, even if it was a drunken mistake.
Goat locked his gaze on Yuichiro, who continued to stutter, unable to meet Goat’s gaze.
“I can’t return your feelings. I’d lose my precious family if I did. However, I don’t want to lose you.”
He knew how self-centered and dreadful that sounded, but it was Yuichiro’s true sentiment. He couldn’t reciprocate Goat’s emotions but didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t want him to vanish.
Goat’s brow furrowed slightly as he heard Yuichiro’s words.
“Is it because I’m your subordinate?”
“No.”
“Then, is it because we fought together as comrades on the battlefield?”
“No, it’s not that either.”
“Then, what exactly is it?” With an angry tone, Goat inquired. Something unexpectedly burst out of Yuichiro at that tone. He looked Goat in the eyes and said, as if biting back, “It’s because you matter to me!”
He felt as if strength had been drained from his entire body when he said those words. After finally saying it aloud, he felt a sense of helplessness. Yuichiro heard Goat’s small voice while covering his face with one hand and remaining silent.
“Can I take that… in the way I hope?”
Yuichiro could neither confirm nor deny the question. He was perplexed by the response. What it meant to him to cherish Goat. Was it out of pity, friendship, romantic love, or a combination? Why he couldn’t let go of the man before him.
“Please, let me see your face.”
With a hesitant tone, Goat spoke while grabbing Yuichiro’s hand that covered his face. Then he looked him in the eyes. Goat parted his lips as he locked eyes with Yuichiro.
“I have always thought of you.”
Words that had been hidden for over a decade were finally spoken. Yuichiro unexpectedly burst into tears when he heard those words. Small tears began to fall one by one. Goat’s eyes widened in surprise when he saw Yuichiro cry.
Yuichiro spoke with a deflated voice, unable to wipe away his overflowing tears.
“…I don’t want to be hated by Noah and Temeraire…”
Unconsciously, words like those of a small child slipped out. Even more, tears flowed as he realized the significance of his own words. Goat quickly picked up a nearby towel and pressed it against Yuichiro’s eyes.
“Please, don’t cry.”
Yuichiro, his vision blurred, stared at Goat, who appeared perplexed, unlike himself.
“I’m sorry…”
Goat laughed troubledly as he heard Yuichiro apologize.
“Why do you apologize?”
“Because I’ve been pretending not to notice all this time.”
None of this would have happened if he had rejected him earlier. Goat could have easily turned his attention elsewhere. They were trapped in this nightmare-like situation because Yuichiro couldn’t decide to sever Goat’s head.
He knew right away that he couldn’t satisfy his desire to cherish his family and avoid losing Goat.
Goat gave a faint smile.
“You’re a cruel but kind person.”
That could also be said to be a kind yet cruel person.
Goat reached out and caressed Yuichiro’s wet cheek.
“Yuichiro-san.”
His name was called out once more.
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime request. Would you kiss me if you even had a passing thought about me?”
It was an exaggerated tone of voice as if he were proposing something. Yuichiro could see Goat’s pleading gaze through his tearful eyes. Goat’s emotional plea, saying it was a once-in-a-lifetime request, pierced him painfully. Goat had already made his decision.
Yuiciro’s body had already moved the moment that thought entered his mind. He then kissed Goat’s lips briefly, just enough to make contact. The kiss was only a few seconds long. Despite this, he felt a faint warmth emanating from his cold lips.
Goat exhaled sharply and looked dazzled as their lips parted.
“I’m so glad you’re alive…”
Hearing a man say such a thing after only a kiss was heartbreaking.
***
The two husbands greeted Yuichiro and Goat as they returned to the castle early in the morning. They were frozen in front of the castle gate with no guards on duty.
When Noah and Temeraire saw Yuichiro and Goat return together, their expressions remained unchanged. Their faces were shockingly pale, as if they had no color to change.
“Noah, Temeraire,” Yuichiro said, and Temeraire raised his hand to stop him.
“Please don’t say anything.”
Everything was made clear by the sternness in his voice.
Noah raised his hand lightly and expressionlessly. Several soldiers emerged from the shadows at that precise moment. The soldiers surrounded Goat without any resistance.
When Yuichiro saw this, he said in a low voice, “Don’t kill him!”
“Don’t you understand?”
Temeraire’s icy and clear voice cut through the shouting. He locked his cold gaze on Yuichiro. That look seemed to stop his heart in its tracks.
“You have no right to say anything now.”
It felt like a final warning. Yuichiro could feel the warmth evaporating from his fingertips. Noah, silent until then, parted his lips as he hung his head like a scolded child.
“We won’t kill him yet.”
The words sounded less like reassurance to Yuichiro and more like a death sentence being extended. Noah had the soldiers take Goat away with a wave of his hand.
Yuichiro looked at Goat blankly. Goat returned Yuichiro’s glance with a faint smile. It was a soothing smile that said, ‘This is how it should be.’
Yuichiro clenched his back teeth as he watched Goat being led away. But before he could say goodbye, he was interrupted by a chilling voice.
“Come this way.”
Temeraire was in command. With that, Noah and Temeraire took the lead, not looking back at Yuichiro, who could feel his spirit shriveling even more.
Yuichiro was ushered into a parlor with only a desk and chairs. Noah and Temeraire, seated on a couch, made a palm gesture to the chair on the opposite side.
“Please sit down.”
Yuichiro stopped when he heard Temeraire’s calm voice, his lips quivering slightly.
“I’m sorry.”
Yuichiro uttered an apology with a hoarse voice while Noah and Temeraire watched him with a settled gaze.
“I’m sorry, please forgive me…”
Yuichiro had never begged forgiveness in such a pitiful fashion before. His fingers were about to tremble, so he clenched his fists tightly to conceal the trembling. Yuichiro, on the other hand, doubts he could completely hide his fear from both of his husbands.
Noah spoke in a low, uncharacteristic, commanding tone as Yuichiro stood frozen.
“Sit down first,” he said.
It was unusual for Noah to speak in such a cold tone. Noah had never addressed him in this manner before. Yuichiro sat awkwardly on the chair directly across from Noah and Temeraire.
Temeraire opened his mouth to speak.
“Was it consensual?”
Yuichiro choked on his breath as he shook his head in response to the direct question.
“Both of us were drunk on alcohol…”
Noah and Temeraire were struck by a severe headache when they heard Yuichiro’s halting voice, pressing their foreheads with one hand.
“Are you an idiot?”
“You are not a child anymore.”
They hurled exasperated words at him. Yuichiro, shrunken on the chair, hung his head low.
“I’ll never drink again. I promise to remain silent and not go on bandit hunts. I’ll strictly follow the curfews I’ve always violated. So please—”
“Please?” Temeraire repeated it irritably. When Yuichiro looked up, he saw Temeraire’s sharp gaze sneeringly at him.
“What exactly are you asking for?”
Temeraire appeared to know what Yuichiro was about to say, which was why it was unforgivable. Regardless, it had to be said.
Yuichiro swallowed hard and spoke softly.
“Please, don’t kill Goat…”
The coffee table between them thudded as soon as the words left his mouth. His body almost jerked at the sound. Noah groaned in a dazzling voice as he kicked the table’s edge.
“Do you even realize what you’re saying?”
“I do… I’m truly sorry…”
“If you’re truly remorseful and sorry from the bottom of your heart to us, then bring me his head right now,” Noah’s voice slashed through him like a blade, making his heart skip a beat. Noah spat out, staring down at the bowed Yuichiro.
“Can’t do it? Don’t you see that as a betrayal to us? We would forgive you if you were r@ped while drunk. But how did he get here unscathed? There was no sign of him being punched. You understand what that means, don’t you?”
Noah’s words blocked any escape, leaving me speechless. Temeraire spoke up as he observed Yuichiro’s silence.
“It wasn’t consensual, but you didn’t reject it either. Is that what happened?”
Yuichiro had the sensation of being strangled. As if he couldn’t take a breath. Temeraire inquired slowly as Yuichiro made a guttural sound in his throat.
“Do you love Goat?”
His tone was not accusatory. In fact, it appeared almost pitying.
“The ones I love are you guys…”
“We know that. You love us and, of course, the children as well.”
Temeraire spoke soothingly as if he were comforting a small child. Yuichiro felt a disagreeable sweat dampen the insides of his palms when he heard that tone. He was like a defendant awaiting the reading of his sentence.
With a small sigh, Noah said, “Yuichiro, tell me the truth.”
His thoughts were jumbled. One part of him begged him not to tell him the truth. Another person urged him to reveal everything. He couldn’t bring himself to lie, though. Noah and Temeraire would never forgive him for telling a single lie.
“I truly love you guys and the children. But… I can’t abandon Goat. I want… to make him happy…”
Goat was precisely like him. The man had lost his family and lived a mirrored existence of despair and hatred. How could he abandon someone in such a way? How could he not be moved to cherish and love?
Yuichiro’s groaning words caused Noah and Temeraire to grimace for a moment before they both let out a long sigh. Yuichiro spoke tremblingly as his heart contracted painfully with their sighs.
“I’m truly sorry…”
“There’s no need to apologize anymore,” Temeraire said, causing Yuichiro to look up. His face contorted in a pitiful grimace, believing he had finally been abandoned. Temeraire shook his head from side to side when he saw Yuichiro’s tearful expression.
“Don’t get me wrong. “Neither Noah-sama nor I have any intention of letting you go,” Temeraire said, clearly frustrated by his inability to let go.
Noah questioned him with a stern look. “It’s not just wanting him to ‘be happy,’ right?” You want to make him happy,’ don’t you?”
Yuichiro paused for a moment before nodding slightly in response to that question. When Noah and Temeraire saw Yuichiro’s nod, they sighed heavily. Noah groaned, pressing one hand to his brow.
“…I really knew it. I used to wonder if it would ever come to this…”
“Not separating them was a grave mistake on our part.”
“After more than ten years… taking action just when people let their guard down…”
“We’ve underestimated Goat’s tenacity.”
Noah let out a dull moan, overlaid by Temeraire’s regretful voice. Noah, who had become motionless with his head in his hands, suddenly looked up sharply as he watched.
His face was no longer filled with rage. As he looked at Yuichiro, his face was filled with bitterness and loneliness. Noah parted his lips.
“We will execute Goat.”
Yuichiro’s breath came to a halt at those words. As he stared at Noah, his eyes widened. When Noah saw Yuichiro’s expression, he tilted his head in concern.
“If I said that, Yuichiro wouldn’t love us like he used to, would he?”
“That’s not…” he wanted to say but couldn’t find the words. He had a feeling that if Noah and Temeraire had executed Goat, a tinge of fear and despair would seep into his love.
When Temeraire noticed Yuichiro stuttering, he asked, somewhat detachedly, “Is it possible that you are pregnant?”
His heart skipped a beat when he heard that question. He replied, clutching his chest with one hand and looking down, “I-I don’t know.”
He’d scraped out what was inside him, but he couldn’t be sure he wasn’t pregnant. He became pregnant without using Shagrila during intercourse after giving birth to their fourth child. Noah and Temeraire were overjoyed that his womb had finally settled in, but he had no idea it would backfire at such an inconvenient time.
“What will you do if you are pregnant?” Temeraire pressed on, leaving no room for doubt. Yuichiro’s lips quivered as he continued to look down.
“I’ll have it,” he said, his voice trembling but clear. “I don’t ever want to kill my own child again.”
Regardless of Yuichiro’s response, Noah and Temeraire’s expressions remained unchanged: neither angry nor disgusted, just a quiet stare.
“I understand,” Noah said finally. “If the child is indeed conceived,” he continued solemnly, “we will raise it as our own.”
Yuichiro’s eyes widened at those words. “Is that really okay?” he asked, his lips parted and his voice hoarse.
“What else can we do?” Yuichiro shrank back as Noah snapped back. Noah was absolutely correct. If it was discovered that the Goddess had conceived a child with another man, there would be outrage not only in the castle but throughout the entire country.
“We will raise the child fairly and love them equally,” Noah said, softening his expression slightly as he looked at Yuichiro’s pale face. Even if the child does not carry our blood, we will cherish it if Yuichiro bears it.”
“It’s frustrating,” Noah added, scowling. Despite having grown up a long time, his face retained the boyishness that he had when they first met.
“Noah,” Yuichiro exclaimed, his voice breaking up. Noah gently opened his arms after a third sigh.
“Come here, Yuichiro.”
When he heard the tender call, Yuichiro felt his eyes moisten without realizing it. When Noah approached, he was quickly pulled into a tight embrace on the long couch. The touch of those arms finally brought tears to his eyes.
“I’m sorry… I was wrong…”
“As a result, please do not apologize again. I don’t want to hurt you any more,” Temeraire comforted him, wiping away tears with his fingertips. Temeraire’s lips then caressed the tear-soaked eyelids. Noah’s voice reached him without making a sound as he cried.
“Goat will not be killed. But he can’t stay here,” it was decided. “He will be stripped of his vice-commander title and sent to the garrison of the frontier army. He will not be allowed to say goodbye.”
Given his betrayal, Yuichiro thought it was incredibly generous, knowing this was the most incredible kindness they could offer. At the very least, Goat’s head remained attached to his shoulders.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse, and Temeraire let out a frustrated sigh.
“That guy is definitely a deliberate offender.”
***
Goat left the capital several days later, early in the morning. He left the castle through the back gate to avoid being seen.
Goat set off alone to the country’s far reaches without anyone to see him off or a carriage to transport him. Yuichiro stood in a castle room, looking down on Goat’s departure.
Bidding farewell was not permitted, as Temeraire had stated. But, as a final act of kindness from Noah and Temeraire, he was allowed to watch Goat leave from a distance.
Yuichiro sat by the window in the early morning haze, watching Goat’s leisurely stroll towards the back gate. He didn’t feel particularly lonely or bereaved in any way. Perhaps it was because Noah and Temeraire did not say “to never meet again.” They probably wanted to, but they didn’t because they cared about his feelings. They were truly generous and loving spouses.
He considered stopping because even seeing Goat off might be a betrayal to the two of them. But he couldn’t bear the thought of Goat leaving without telling anyone. Even Tyet, who now commands thousands of soldiers, was unaware of Goat’s departure from the capital.
Although the conflict with Goldar had ended, the frontier army was still engaged in endless battles with bandits crossing the border. The thought of Goat alone in the location with the highest number of war casualties filled him with regret bordering on remorse.
If he had rejected him sooner, Goat might not have had to take such a terrible path. He wouldn’t have had to set out on his own. But such thoughts are now out of the question.
While feeling sorry for himself and watching Goat’s back, the man abruptly turned around. High up in the castle, Goat’s gaze was fixed on him.
“Goat,” he said quietly.
While the man couldn’t have heard, Goat smiled cheerfully and raised his hand lightly as if to say, “I’ll be going then.”
Yuichiro couldn’t help but smile as he made that carefree gesture devoid of heaviness. He, too, raised my hand lightly through the window.
Goat suddenly pressed both hands to his mouth and blew a playful kiss toward me. Unexpectedly, he burst out laughing.
“If Noah and Temeraire saw that, you’d be beheaded,” Yuichiro reasoned.
When he saw his unrepentant figure, he almost wondered if it would have been better to behead him after all.
Goat grinned and swept his arm down in a bow as if he were an actor at the end of a play.
Yuichiro could see Goat moving his lips as if speaking when he lifted his face, but the latter was too far away for him to make out the words. Only his lips were seen moving slowly.
“See you again, Goat.”
Yuichiro didn’t know if it would be years or decades before they met again, but he knew he’d see that stubborn man again.
Before turning around, Goat narrowed his eyes in delight and smiled. He walked through the back gate and out of the castle without looking back.
The nation rejoiced about ten months later when the Goddess gave birth to his seventh child.
* * *